And Counting....

It's official. It's been forever and a day.

Exactly one year ago, I was in Nairobi, Kenya working my ass off trying to forget the fact that my lover and I had just broken up. I remember during idle moments, which comes rare on our events, I'd sit in one corner and start crying. And that's because that @#!@&!! partee addict can't kick off the habit and chose it over lil' ol' me. That and probably because I try and 'help' him do so. Let's just say my messianic complex gets the best of me sometimes.

So here are just a few things I've realized since I've been single. One year and still counting...

1. I've become a wee-bit jaded on the entire concept of love and relationships. I did meet several possibilities, including one very recent that I purposely discounted to be a relationship but more to be a big, huge, enormous mistake. With one particular chubby guy who was, more than anything, an idea of what great love could have been. But meeting a lot of great almost(s) can be such an irritating chore. You meet, connect, pursue, and then before you know it, it's more complicated than you hoped it would be. Then, you start it all over again.

2. Boys will be boys and men (way older men) are just meant to be my friends. A dilemma on choosing a 23 year old kid versus one 43 year old guy that lead me to conclude I should find someone around my age or a little bit older.

3. I still despise people who do drugs, especially the ohh, so notorious Partee Pill which I would like to call the death drug of our generation. I just don't know what they get out of it. But I've meet a lot of friends who takes this drug and I just find it sad that such wonderful people are wasting money over something they know is slowly killing them. Perhaps, much like cigarettes (which I also can't quit, but want to) they get some satisfaction out of them. Oh well, my opinions get worse over Shabs, Coke, Heroin, and the likes. Unlike partee, these hard core chemicals destroys not only their body, but it's a guaranteed way to destroy relationships as well. I should know seeing one of my uncles wasted away because of Shabs.

4. Exes will be and forever remain exes. In my search for true love (naks! me ganon?!), I visited past relationships and tried to rekindle what can be rekindled. But alas, I've learned that once you lose the fire, even time cannot put the spark back. Except for some freaky chance that you get in bed... to sleep. HA-HA!

5. The corporate world is a jungle and survival is the name of the game. Working for a corporate environment that's full of politics can be harsh. It takes a really tough person to survive all the back-stabbing, gossiping, jealousy, ass-kicking and ass-licking, betrayal and everything else in between. You need to learn how to play the game or you'll get eaten alive. But then again, good things come to good people and I believe that what happened to me came as a blessing in disguise. I'm happier, a wee-bit richer and less stressed now. H-A! Take that ya'll! (tee-hee!)

6. Count your blessings. There are many things I should be grateful for, like good health, great friends, a complete family and a well paying job. So why is it that finding a lover suddenly became a priority for me? Well, for one because that's the one thing I don't have now. But hey, who knows, maybe before my Christmas Blues kick-in I'll be in a relationship. Fingers-crossed.

7. I know myself now, more than ever. Yes, I can defy gravity. I've always thought that I am a tough nut to crack but hey, over the months, I've proven to myself that I really am. Me-so-happeee! Not a lot of things can bring me down but when it does, I can almost immediately bounce right back up.

And so, forever and a day isn't so bad after all. It has taught me a few things that I would have never realized otherwise. Still, I'm on my never-ending search and I sincerely hope it would be this one but I can't be too sure. So right now, I'm just enjoying the moment.



We only get to live once, why not live everyday as if it were the last.